Hi !
Om and Swarupa have been contributing on the blog for awhile and I have mostly been a silent reader. Swarupa and me have been introspecting on our decade long shibir relationship.
The journey has really been fruitful with a lots of happy ruminations. We still clearly remember the introduction lecture of Lata Aaji's at Vile Parle. Frankly, Swarupa was bought into this concept long before. However upon experiencing a few sessions, I left behind my preconceived notions and changed for good. Hence here I am today, myself as an individual and as a parent with Swarupa trying to express our current status.
We have undergone a drastic change in our mindset and attitude. When we see Om today, there is a great sense of satisfaction in us. However change is the constant phenomena and as we look ahead in life, we continue to see a huge challenge ahead of us. The world around is changing at a very rapid pace and we need to keep up with it. We remember our parent’s shibir interaction with Kumar Ketkar and Lata Aaji some time back stating that Our Children are growing at a tremendous pace and they categorically emphasized that we as parents need to keep up to that pace. We, individually as our child’s parents, are engaged in this process. While this is on, on the other hand we still are failing to see the bigger picture… ie. our social fragment as the shibir group / society around us. Today “it’s me, my family” that is keeping us so occupied that the world around us has taken a back seat. This ideally should not be the case as this same world is our pillars of family foundation.
While we were in the normal shibir, we used to meet all over every weekend. Today that has got reduced to only once in a month. While this is the fact of life and will continue, we making special attempts to stay connected with each other is missing. Thinking on these lines, following thoughts were further emerging:
1. We as shibir group have, fairly reacted during emergencies. When we say emergencies, it’s about our individual families going through different crisis. As a shibir group, we all genuinely rush in to help but… are we THERE, just to be THERE .. in the phase of the crisis. Here, it is very important to understand the needs of the aggrieved one and we accordingly need to respond. If this happens, it will surely bring in a balanced sound mind with right thoughts and more importantly gives a sense of comfort and security to the aggrieved one. The sense of “I have somebody to bank upon” for the aggrieved one is his need. This unspoken golden understanding is yet to reach us completely.
2. Another important dimension is proactively thinking about these emergencies and correlating it with the world around us. Today it may have not happened to my family however in the bigger picture context, it could have happened to one of us in the shibir. Being insensitive or "not me or not applicable to me" is the kind of attitude that should go.
A real connect by mind and soul is the need. We remembered Lata Aaji’s lecture after the 26 /11 crisis on Disaster Management. She explained by giving few examples - cooperating with police, traffic police ( who were trying to maintain the law and order in the city during the crisis), moreover speaking to Aparna Gore & kids who were at home while Girish was on duty for more than 72 hours without a break. This sensitivity will help increase our connect with others and also bring awareness in our children. Another reference in this context will be about few children and parents who have parted ways from the group. Though genuinely we want them to stay connected as part of the shibir, we only end up doing a lip service. A clear emotional connect and being THERE part is missing.
3. The above can be possible if only we had the right level of communication and connect. We always exchange pleasantries with everyone “Hi ! Hello, how are you..and so on” but hardly go beyond that to share our family affairs / daily experiences. Moreover at times when we hear something, we also react with a statement like "nobody told me or informed me"....unfortunately we failed accept our shortcoming of attempting to connect. Though Lata Aaji has been saying this all the while and we also realise the need of it, a real attempt to keep in touch and stay connected is missing.
4. This also brings in another important element of trust and openness in relation. If we do not like or are not in the agreement with the other person’s opinion / action, we choose not to express our opinion or remain silent. We have miserably failed on this one as we always want to be good and goody goody to all... We never wanted to stand upfront and express our thoughts. Secondly how to present / express my views and still be clear about my thoughts without hurting others is a concern.
We will have to think and take care of the later aspect first in order to easily handle this whole point. By this way the person hearing from you, will receive it well and respect your thoughts. The other way of looking at this scenario is to " you agree to disagree on some aspects". This will also help us reduce our inhibitions in the freedom of speech and expression leading to better acceptance collectively.
Om and Swarupa have been contributing on the blog for awhile and I have mostly been a silent reader. Swarupa and me have been introspecting on our decade long shibir relationship.
The journey has really been fruitful with a lots of happy ruminations. We still clearly remember the introduction lecture of Lata Aaji's at Vile Parle. Frankly, Swarupa was bought into this concept long before. However upon experiencing a few sessions, I left behind my preconceived notions and changed for good. Hence here I am today, myself as an individual and as a parent with Swarupa trying to express our current status.
We have undergone a drastic change in our mindset and attitude. When we see Om today, there is a great sense of satisfaction in us. However change is the constant phenomena and as we look ahead in life, we continue to see a huge challenge ahead of us. The world around is changing at a very rapid pace and we need to keep up with it. We remember our parent’s shibir interaction with Kumar Ketkar and Lata Aaji some time back stating that Our Children are growing at a tremendous pace and they categorically emphasized that we as parents need to keep up to that pace. We, individually as our child’s parents, are engaged in this process. While this is on, on the other hand we still are failing to see the bigger picture… ie. our social fragment as the shibir group / society around us. Today “it’s me, my family” that is keeping us so occupied that the world around us has taken a back seat. This ideally should not be the case as this same world is our pillars of family foundation.
While we were in the normal shibir, we used to meet all over every weekend. Today that has got reduced to only once in a month. While this is the fact of life and will continue, we making special attempts to stay connected with each other is missing. Thinking on these lines, following thoughts were further emerging:
1. We as shibir group have, fairly reacted during emergencies. When we say emergencies, it’s about our individual families going through different crisis. As a shibir group, we all genuinely rush in to help but… are we THERE, just to be THERE .. in the phase of the crisis. Here, it is very important to understand the needs of the aggrieved one and we accordingly need to respond. If this happens, it will surely bring in a balanced sound mind with right thoughts and more importantly gives a sense of comfort and security to the aggrieved one. The sense of “I have somebody to bank upon” for the aggrieved one is his need. This unspoken golden understanding is yet to reach us completely.
2. Another important dimension is proactively thinking about these emergencies and correlating it with the world around us. Today it may have not happened to my family however in the bigger picture context, it could have happened to one of us in the shibir. Being insensitive or "not me or not applicable to me" is the kind of attitude that should go.
A real connect by mind and soul is the need. We remembered Lata Aaji’s lecture after the 26 /11 crisis on Disaster Management. She explained by giving few examples - cooperating with police, traffic police ( who were trying to maintain the law and order in the city during the crisis), moreover speaking to Aparna Gore & kids who were at home while Girish was on duty for more than 72 hours without a break. This sensitivity will help increase our connect with others and also bring awareness in our children. Another reference in this context will be about few children and parents who have parted ways from the group. Though genuinely we want them to stay connected as part of the shibir, we only end up doing a lip service. A clear emotional connect and being THERE part is missing.
3. The above can be possible if only we had the right level of communication and connect. We always exchange pleasantries with everyone “Hi ! Hello, how are you..and so on” but hardly go beyond that to share our family affairs / daily experiences. Moreover at times when we hear something, we also react with a statement like "nobody told me or informed me"....unfortunately we failed accept our shortcoming of attempting to connect. Though Lata Aaji has been saying this all the while and we also realise the need of it, a real attempt to keep in touch and stay connected is missing.
4. This also brings in another important element of trust and openness in relation. If we do not like or are not in the agreement with the other person’s opinion / action, we choose not to express our opinion or remain silent. We have miserably failed on this one as we always want to be good and goody goody to all... We never wanted to stand upfront and express our thoughts. Secondly how to present / express my views and still be clear about my thoughts without hurting others is a concern.
We will have to think and take care of the later aspect first in order to easily handle this whole point. By this way the person hearing from you, will receive it well and respect your thoughts. The other way of looking at this scenario is to " you agree to disagree on some aspects". This will also help us reduce our inhibitions in the freedom of speech and expression leading to better acceptance collectively.
Vaknallis
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